you know when you are stressed when: (or maybe just bored)

Relatives that have been dead for years come visit you and suggest that you get some sleep.
You say the same sentence over and over again, not realizing you've said it before.
You say the same sentence over and over again, not realizing you've said it before.
The Sun is too loud.
Trees begin threatening you.
You can see individual air molecules vibrating.
You believe that if you think hard enough, you can levitate.
You say the same sentence over and over again, not realizing you've said it before.
You have great revelations concerning Life, the Universe, and Everything else, but can't quite find the words for them before the white glow fades, leaving you more confused than before.
You begin to talk to yourself, then disagree about the subject, get into a nasty row about it, lose, and refuse to talk to yourself for the rest of the day.
You yell: "STOP TOUCHING ME!!!" even though you're the only person in the room.
You say the same sentence over and over again, not realizing you've said it before.
You go to bed at 3AM and think, "Oh, it's an early night!"
Your favorite saying is "If I get a hundred on every test for the rest of the year..."
You try to wake up fast enough to catch yourself sleeping - and succeed.
You talk to yourself in the 3rd person.
You write sentences on multiple choice tests.
It's okay to fail, so long as you are not alone.
You frequently catch yourself saying "What?? We had homework??"
You manage to complete a semesters worth of homework the day before the term ends.
Your idea of impure thoughts is whether or not to copy math homework.
You can count your last quiz grade on one hand.
You've consulted tarot cards for hints on a History test.
You have the library on speed dial.
You've developed an imprint of your book bag in your back.
Your best hope for most classes is either divine intervention or a strategically placed lightning bolt.
Your books weigh more than you do.
You write a research paper on whether or not Bert and Ernie are gay.
You can lead your way through a frog's intestines with your eyes closed.
You consider giving up going to the bathroom permanently to give you more time to study.
You skip breakfast so you can get to school early to get in some extra cramming time to gain that "upper edge" on the rest of the class.
Pressed for time, you conclude a history essay with, "And they lived happily every after. Amen."
You actually worry about the 105% you have in math.
You find that you spend more time sleeping in class than at home.
The librarians know you so well that you don't even have to go to the front desk of the library to check the book out.
You've read most of the books in your library, and have a written report on over 3/4 of them!
The simplest words you know are at least 10 letters long.
When you are home sick, you can't help but wonder what work you're missing and what your homework is.
When you're watching TV, you feel guilty because not all of your homework is done.
You have an internet connection on your calculator.
You have more CD-ROMS than music CDs.
You discuss the impossibility of the aliens' computers being Macintosh compatible in Independence Day.
Your bed hasn't been slept in since Bush was president.
Your best friend is Jack Daniels.
You're afraid of sunlight since you haven't seen it in 3 years.
Breakfast?! What's that?
The bags under your eyes are heavier than the ones carrying your textbooks.
You always seem to have one continuous headache.
You haven't seen light in so long you glow in the dark.
You find yourself thinking "Without stress my life would be empty."
You can count the number of hours you sleep each week on one missing hand.
You've taught yourself how to take naps while walking to your next class.
You actually get used to waking up at 5:00 am.
You think "getting high" is a reference to grades.
You have taken in so much knowledge that you forget what the doorbell means.
You think MTV is a formula for mass, temperature and volume.
You clean up your room and find a bed.
You wonder about things like what would happen if your car traveled at the speed of light and your turned your lights on.
It's the little things that confuse you.
You look foward to hell week because you think hell would be an improvement on your current situation.
Yourbrainissooverloadedthatyouforgetthesimplestthings.
You managed to write 4,000 words on the subject "Hitler was a nice guy, wasn't he?"
Your pick-up lines include compliments on the quality of her (his) epidermis and the wonderful shape of her (his) occipital plate.
You have an element named after you.
You forget your brother's name because you haven't seen him in three years.
Wait...what brother?
When on vacation, you visit other schools.
You have races with your friends to see who can say the entire periodic table of elements the fastest.
You'd feel bad about not having a social life if only you could remember what it was like to have one.
You think "social life" refers to life in Soviet Bloc nations during the Cold War
You talk in your sleep -- in Spanish.
You resort to communicating with classmates through a series of clicks because languages take too long.
You love the "Macarena" not because it's a neat-o dance, but because you actually understand what those Spanish guys are saying.
You say the same sentence over and over again, not realizing you've said it before.
You no longer speak English -- You speak a combination of English, German, Spanish, French, Portugese, Swedish, Dutch, Chinese, Russian, Norwegian, Hebrew, Arabic, Japanese, Korean, and Polish.
You debate physics during lunch…and you usually win.
You know the chemical composition of the ugly brown stains on the ceiling tiles.
You see 0110 1001 0110 1001 and get horny.
You make a date to do homework together and you actually do.
you start walking in geometric circles
you start analyzing random books, song lyrics, and street signs
a good night's sleep is 5 hours
You say the same sentence over and over again, not realizing you've said it before.
16+2= ...wait let me get my graphing calculator!
the urge to shout "Sir, yes sir" overwhelms you and...you do it
you don't speak French, yet you compile a list of insults in French
it takes you 3 days to get this joke:
A: you know what?
B: no, introduce me.
you forget the meaning of the words "free time" yet remember the meaning of "mantic" (n. )
you have complicated dreams about graphing circles and ellipses
you start a Scrabble Club. wait...that's a bad thing?
You walk in the movement patterns of a knight to improve your chess strategy while you nap on your way to your next class.
the number on your screen name corresponds to the page number that character you use for your screen name has an appearance in the book you got it from
you understand above the first time you read it
whenever you're watching a movie you find all the motifs and themes...without trying
you brag that you only got 2 hours of sleep last night
you write a two page answer to a one sentence question
you look forward to arguing
you enjoy complaining and scaring the juniors (yeah, and they gave us 500 pages of History, but I managed to do that even though my back is now permanently damaged by the weight of my backpack, and the track bugs almost got me so I was exhausted from running... etc.)
when writing down decimals, you don't understand why you can't write them to the 14th decimal place
you feel sorry for the chemicals in chemistry class
this number means something: 42
you faithfully copy words without vowels in them, yet somehow understand them
you start overanalyzing the rainbows on people's clothing
you write a newsletter half in Latin
your Physics teacher knows how to say "outstanding" in over 30 languages, yet chooses"cool beans!"
you're disappointed when you only get 100% on a test
you complain about studying for your foreign language exam...in multiple foreign languages
you have a thought, and it hurts.
you have a hurt, and it thinks.
your main addiction is to sleep...and you're always experiencing withdrawal.
you get angry at someone for being late so you can't copy their homework.
your backpack is heavier than you are.
you realize that something is missing when your backpack feels too light.
You say the same sentence over and over again, not realizing you've said it before.
you use logic to justify the color of your nail polish.
you can't enjoy a heart-warming cartoon because the French grammar is wrong.
the most peer pressure you have recently experienced is someone trying to get you to eat potato chips.
You say the same sentence over and over again, not realizing you've said it before.

this is the wierdest hting ive come across.hahaha.

3 ironys

curiosity killed the cat

but satisfaction brought it back.

familiarity breeds contempt

but absence makes the heart grow fonder.

opposites attract

but birds of a feather stick together.

life is weird. full of contradictions, paradoxes and oxymorons. haha MORON.

crazy week

man its been one hell of a week. everyone had one moment of being pissed or something. i broke down in taekwondo class cos this plume belt guy smashed my leg where i crashed on on tuesday. stupid grandstand. i cant seem to do anything right. to top it all off, i have this sneaky feeling i wont be able to do anything by myself without my mom being there like a mother hen. it seems to me that al the trips im going for overseas for NYAA or wad teh hell, she goes on 'can we come too?' im never going to be able to go on a holiday ON MY OWN. sheesh. really annoying. you watch movies like the beach or .. wat that movie?? oh well all sorts. and uve got these kids going off on their own. and shes once suggested' go backpacking across australia' probably next time i ask she'll be like, hey can we come? NO.

for once let me do what i want. ive been one hell of a chld so far. i never gave teenage rebellion problems so why cant i hang out on my own???? for hte first time i managed to escape on saturday outof the HOUSE and hung about orchard.. wasting darcy's studying time.. :P sorri.. but i felt damn FREE. then she called and was like. 'where are you?" and im like.. sigh.. orchard. looking at math. i was. looking at math functions questions tho i noe it doesnt help much. sigh. math sucks. life kinda sucks. specially sunday. everything went WRONG. now i dont feel any better. still screwed up life as ever. and the damn blog publishing doesnt seem to be working properly. definitely not my day, week, month.. yEAR. ah wad the hell. jc life is hell new and screwed up adn i feel like a 6yr old trapped in a freaking body of a 16.. soon to be 17.. year old. sucks to the core and nothing seem to be helping. saw this powerpoint slide my mom sent me from mtv, never seen before footage. about the 911 crash and infront of that pic there are these homeless, hiv positive hungry adn lonely ppl and the data for how many have died because of that compared to the 911. so sad. yet so true. and annoying. the fact they can spend so much time on the bloody event that is ONCE in a life time but something on going they cant be bothered. the logic of human kind. NO LOGIC what so ever. i am so screwed for everything. i see the walls around me *crumbling* adn *falling to bits and pieces* visualise* those movies where someone blows up abuilding and slow motion*- crumble crumble fall fall drop drop adn SPLAT. ahh well.

Earthday is coming up!!!

Modern technology
Owes ecology
An apology.
~Alan M. Eddison

Don't blow it - good planets are hard to find. ~Quoted in Time

We never know the worth of water till the well is dry. ~Thomas Fuller, Gnomologia, 1732

Newspapers: dead trees with information smeared on them. ~Horizon, "Electronic Frontier"


They kill good trees to put out bad newspapers. ~James G. Watt, quoted in Newsweek, 8 March 1982


And Man created the plastic bag and the tin and aluminum can and the cellophane wrapper and the paper plate, and this was good because Man could then take his automobile and buy all his food in one place and He could save that which was good to eat in the refrigerator and throw away that which had no further use. And soon the earth was covered with plastic bags and aluminum cans and paper plates and disposable bottles and there was nowhere to sit down or walk, and Man shook his head and cried: "Look at this Godawful mess." ~Art Buchwald, 1970


Why do people give each other flowers? To celebrate various important occasions, they're killing living creatures? Why restrict it to plants? "Sweetheart, let's make up. Have this deceased squirrel." ~The Washington Post

We say we love flowers, yet we pluck them. We say we love trees, yet we cut them down. And people still wonder why some are afraid when told they are loved. ~Author Unknown

Take nothing but pictures.
Leave nothing but footprints.
Kill nothing but time.
~Motto of the Baltimore Grotto, a caving society

When one tugs at a single thing in nature, he finds it attached to the rest of the world. ~John Muir

Man must feel the earth to know himself and recognize his values.... God made life simple. It is man who complicates it. ~Charles A. Lindbergh, Reader's Digest, July 1972

Nature always strikes back. It takes all the running we can do to remain in the same place. ~Rene Dubos, Medical Utopias, 1961

Give a man a fish, and he can eat for a day. But teach a man how to fish, and he'll be dead of mercury poisoning inside of three years. ~Charles Haas

When a man wantonly destroys one of the works of man we call him a vandal. When he destroys one of the works of god we call him a sportsman. ~Joseph Wood Krutch

In an underdeveloped country, don't drink the water; in a developed country, don't breathe the air. ~Changing Times magazine

funny epitaphs!

haha guess wad! i found the actual epitaph on the net. this is how it really goes:

Come blooming youths, as you pass by ,
And on these lines do cast an eye.
As you are now, so once was I;
As I am now, so must you be;
Prepare for death and follow me.



and the reply:

To follow you
I am not content,
How do I know
Which way you went.


there are others:

here lies my wife
here let her lie
now she has peace
and so do i

honey you dont know
what you did for me
always playing the lottery.
the numbers you picked
came into play
two days after you passed away
for this
a huge monument i do erect
for now i get a yearly check
how i do wish you were alive
for now we are worth 8.5! (million)
[this is actually a real tombstone.. i pity the guy man]


here lies the body of our anna
doen to death by a banana
it wasn't the fruit that laid her low
but the skin of the thing that made her go

Anna Wallace
The children of Israel wanted bread
And the Lord sent them manna,
Old clerk Wallace wanted a wife,
And the Devil sent him Anna

She always said her feet were killing her
but nobody believed her.

Looked up the elevator shaft to see if
the car was on the way down. It was.

Here lies an Atheist
All dressed up And no place to go.

Here lays Butch,
We planted him raw.
He was quick on the trigger,
But slow on the draw.


Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake
Stepped on the gas Instead of the brake.


Sir John Strange
Here lies an honest lawyer,
And that is Strange.

Here lies Lester Moore
Four slugs from a .44
No Les No More.

I told you I was sick!

Here lies one Wood
Enclosed in wood
One Wood
Within another.
The outer wood
Is very good:
We cannot praise
The other.

On an infant eight months old:

Since I have been so quickly done for,
I wonder what I was begun for.


Here lies, alas! poor Roger Norton.
Whose sudden death was oddly brought on!
Trying one day his corns to mow off,
The razor slipped and cut his toe off!
The toe, or rather what it grew to,
An inflammation quickly flew to;
The part then took to mortifying,
Which was the cause of Roger's dying.

wierd...

Happy Easter!!

i loved todays homily. this priest in novena gave this homily on why catholics can laugh in the face of death becouse of jesus' resurrection. he gave mny examples of hilarious epitaphs but this one is the funniest:

for the man who passes by,
as you are, once was I
as i am now
you soon will be
so come along
and follow me

this tourist or something scribbled a reply under this tombstone:

to follow you i'll not consent
till i know which way you went!

hahahaha...

this is scary...

imagine if it happened to you. id throw up...

bratty children

wow today was one hell of a day. rushed out the door at 7.45 got to novena church at 8.oo am. did my econs homework for an hour sitting on the bench. james and darcy came and we stoned for 15mins before we gave up and realised that no divine intervention would make novena happen. i think they didn't have it today cos its holy saturday. ah well. then went to burger king and ate hash browns for 'breakfast'. am still not used to eating hot stuff for breakfast, unless its oatmeal. then i might as well be a horse.:) wanted to rush home when my mom called and said that easter egg blessing mass wasnt at 11am but at 11.45 am. ah well. hung about novena looking at the sport shops. they should add more sport shops and wipe out the silly accessories shops and weird 'clothes shops' if they want to make it a hub for sports. velocity novena.. hmm..

honestly i dont see how rags and pieces of cloth can be considered as clothing. managed to get home in time and ran out the door again to catch a cab to st iggys. got there 15mins early and stoned about with my sis till the blessing started. after that we hung about and talked about next sat when for the outing we're gonna have for one of these girls birthday's. this guy miko was annoying as usual. my mom asked me later why we found him annoying cos she said he seemed pretty sweet to her. we wanted to choke. ah well to each their own opinion. went to holland village shopping center and did grocery shopping. was at the meat section when i realised parents of bratty children can actually threaten them. theres this company in america called johnsonville who cooks little brats if they get too naughty. dont believe me?


see for yourself:



cooked brats.. yum yum.. or maybe u prefer a different serving..



smoked brats. they get 'cured' after this from all their brattiness.haha. brats beware....bratswurst. the new in thing. get it today!!

Yeah it's a woman...

Arguing with women

A Poem from girls to guys

I shave my legs,


I sit down to pee.


And I can justify any shopping spree.


Don't go to a barber, but a beauty salon.


I can get a massage without a hard-on.


I can balance the checkbook,


I can pump my own gas.


I can talk to my friends about the size of my ass.


My beauty's a masterpiece and yes, it takes long.


At least I can admit to others when I'm wrong.


I don't drive in circles, at any cost;


And I don't have a problem admitting I'm lost.


I never forget an important date.


You just gotta deal with it,I'm usually late.


I don't watch movies with lots of gore.


Don't need instant replay to remember the score.


I won't lose my hair, I don't get jock itch.


And just cause I'm assertive,Don't call me a bitch.


Don't say to your friends, "Oh yeah, I can get her."


In your dreams, my dear, I can do better!


Flowers are okay,


But jewellery's best.


Look at me you idiot...








Not at my chest !!!


I don't have a problem,


With Expressing my feelings.


I know when you're lying,


You look at the ceiling.


DON'T call me a GIRL,


A BABE or a CHICK.


I am a WOMAN.


Get it?




You DICK!?!

Society-Fitting IN

ive always had this problem with fitting in. im always the odd one out, usually cos i stick out like a sore thumb, the blonde head among a sea of black hair in a local school. its kinda wierd. people stare at me when i go walking around the neighbourhood or if i go to the central and its like they give me the look sayin 'you-dont-belong-here-in-this-part-of-town-where-only-locals-belong-so-go-back-to-your-damn-country'. thats why the first time we went to the polish community gathering i felt like i finally belonged cos us polish teens just started bitching and all that nonsense. it gives me this nice happy feeling inside that i fit in.

then just yesterday i was thinking about it and i realised that the whole thing on fitting in is a bloody perpective set up by the society we live in. to fit in is to conform to the rules of society or something of the sort. society decides what we should fit in to and what different groups there are. even to be a rebel against society is being classified under 'rebels'. we will never escape from society and classification systems. who are these idiots we refer to when we say 'they say that..' and who are the people behind society that determine the cultures in society? i dont know.

Hmmm..

This is some chain email ive gotten about a million gazillion times..
Ive always wondered bout it..


Did you know that those who appear to be very strong in heart, are really weak and most susceptible?
[i actually find this true, cos when ever i do something, i only do it cos there are others around, otherwise id be too scard to do it. i noe, pathetic of me but true]

Did you know that those who spend their time protecting others are the ones that really need someone to protect them?
[i wonder how heros feel when they go about saving damsels in distress and the world. do they really feel not confident sometimes? i need to watch smallville again and gain insight on superman]

Did you know that the three most difficult things to say are:
I love you, Sorry and help me
[ok this is seriously true. cos i hate having to say sorry and half the time when i do it slams back into my face. ouch. i dont know about the i love you part but i find asking for help not much of a problem. cos if i dont ask for help i'll die trying to struggle]


Did you know that those who dress in red are more confident in themselves?
[ i despise red clothes. doesnt look nice on me. it probably explains the first one on being weak. im not confident enuf]

Did you know that those who dress in yellow are those that enjoy their beauty?
[i know for a fact i cant pull of yellow cos then i'll just look like a big oversized lemon with my hair being blonde. bad bad choice. just goes to show i dont enjoy my beuty:) like hell, wad beauty?????]

Did you know that those who dress in black, are those who want to be unnoticed and need your help and understanding?
[ i like black. it makes everyone look a hell lot slimmer. im not kidding.but i suppose i usually wear it when i want to blend in with the crowd and when im depressed. goes to prove the unnoticed part]

Did you know that when you help someone, the help is returned in two folds?
[ i have yet to discover this but i know for a fact if you help, people see you as a friendly happy person. probably thats why they would be more willing to help you next time so it just seeems like its two fold...]

Did you know that it's easier to say what you feel in writing than saying it to someone in the face? But did you know that it has more value when you say it to their face?
[this is so true.. its easier to dismiss everything by writing. then i realised that it didnt help cos i cant express myself in words. it does mean more when you say it to someone. i mean can you imagine someone saying. 'i lurf u' in an sms? wad the hell man.. tho ive have bad experiences saying sorry and stuff i still continue..i try to]

Did you know that if you ask for something in faith, your wishes are granted?
[ this sounds cool tho freaky and i dont really know if it works but there was this time i forgot to do my histroy homework adn i prayed all the way to school. my teacher called in sick. phew..]

Did you know that you can make your dreams come true, like falling in love, becoming rich, staying healthy, if you ask for it by faith, and if you really knew, you'd be surprised by what you could do.
[yep id be surprised if this is true..]


life is one hell of a journey.. everything seems to mean something.. and if it can be classified. then what we do actually means we all act the same way adn think the same way.. so there are no boundaries between men and women and geniuses and us normal human beings.. hmmm..

For where two or three are
gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them. -Matthew 18:20

Does this count?

Lessons we could learn from Noah's Ark

21 steps for a better life

ONE. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.
TWO. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.
THREE. Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.
FOUR. When you say, "I love you," mean it.
FIVE. When you say, "I'm sorry," look the person in the eye.
SIX. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.
SEVEN. Believe in love at first sight.
EIGHT. Never laugh at anyone's dream. People who don't have dreams don't have much.
NINE. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely.
TEN. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.
ELEVEN. Don't judge people by their relatives.
TWELVE. Talk slowly but think quickly.
THIRTEEN. When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, "Why do you want to know?"
FOURTEEN. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
FIFTEEN. Say "bless you" when you hear someone sneeze.
SIXTEEN. When you lose, don't lose the lesson .
SEVENTEEN. Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others; and responsibility for all your actions.
EIGHTEEN. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
NINETEEN. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it. TWENTY. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.
TWENTY-ONE. Spend some time alone.

Gratefulness

It usually takes something really drastic or bad for one to realise and appreciate what you've got. It makes it even more a miracle when you can meet someone in this urban, high-fly, technologically advanced world that can appreciate the little simple things in life. A word of advice from someone: Remeber when life gets you down, look around you, you are living in someone elses dream. This really caught me off guard. Especially when you're in the midst of being scolded by your mom. The professor's take on that? "She probably has a good reason to be yelling at you. My mom always does." Wow.

Ok,right. Back to being grateful. He started telling me about this couple he saw who were blind and they were helping each other unzip this bag. A simple act such as unzipping a bag is thanks to our pair of eyes. And our snese of touch. People in comas or have this syndrome (I can't remember what it is called) can't feel the warmth of hugs and the cool breeze in autumn or the spray of rain on their cheeks on a rainy day. That is super sad. People who can't walk or talk miss out on quite a lot.

But I suppose the miracle, or moral, of the story is that these people always find some way to overcome these obstacles and still live life happily and to the fullest. Be grateful for the simple things in life, cos I never know when it will be snatched away from me.

Obstacles: the annoying little cracks in the ground that try and stop you from reaching your goal. Jump over 'em.

Why God made women

Man to God: "God, why did you make women so beautiful?"

God to Man: "So you would love her."

Man to God: "But why did you make her so dumb?"

God to Man: "So that she would love you."

Advice for women

Here's a short instruction manual to help
you women deal with the opposite sex...


Remember you are known by the idiot you accompany.


Don't imagine that you can change a man unless he is in diapers.


What do you do if your boyfriend walks out? You shut the door.


So many men - so many reasons not to sleep with any of them.


If they put a man on the moon, why can't they put them all there?


Tell him you are not his type, you have a pulse.


Never let your man's mind wander, it is too little to be let out alone.


Go for younger men - you might as well, they never mature anyway.


Men are all the same - they just have different faces so you can tell them apart.


Definition of a bachelor: a man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable.


Women don't make fools of men, most of them are the Do-It-Yourself types.


The best way to get a man to do something is to suggest that they are too old for it.


Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.


If you want a committed man, look in a mental hospital. A man's idea of serious commitment is usually 'oh alright, I'll stay the night.'


Sadly, all men are created equal.


Remember that a sense of humor does not mean that you tell him jokes, it means that you laugh at his.


The main point of having a boyfriend is so that he can one day graduate to the exalted status of 'former boyfriend.'


There are lots of words to describe men - strong, caring, loving - they'd be wrong, but you can still use them.

MEN : Can't Live With Them, Can Live Without Them!

in this amazing race, only men win

understanding women

a warning to men...

Empty

I have this funny feeling in my tummy. It's like this kinda hollow, empty feeling, something like butterflies in my tummy. But not quite. I don't really know what it is but I know it's there. They say that you can will yourself to become sick. Maybe I'm willing this funny empty feeling in my tummy. I am really upset right now though I don't look it. My mom is pissed at me, yelling about and all because she says I yell at her, or that I'm the problem cos I yelled at her. That's why she's yelling at me. I don't know. I'm not convinced. It is hard trying to fulfill everyone's expectations and when you try your best you still get scolded. Why can't people just take others as they are without any of the high standards and expectations that come along with everything that occurs in life? Will our lives really be worse off without these expectations? I'm more inclined to think that without these frivoulous matters, life will be less stressful for everyone. I won't have to worry about meeting their standards and they don't have to worry about me not reaching their standards. Plain and simple life. But no, life ends up being a hell lot complicated... Ah well.