NEW MEANINGS OF OLD WORDS

from this website: hilarious i must say hehehe

http://www.jfort.co.uk/jonathan/defintions.html


Abdicate - to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach

Esplanade - to attempt an explanation while drunk

Willy-Nilly - impotent

Flabbergasted - appalled over how much weight you have gained.

Negligent - a condition in which you absent mindedly answer the door in you nightie

Lymph - to walk with a lisp

Gargoyle - an olive flavoured mouthwash

Coffee - a person who is coughed upon

Flatulence - the emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller

Balderdash - a rapidly receding hairline

Semantics- pranks conducted by young men studying fir the priesthood including such things as
gluing the pages of the priests payer book together before vespers.

Rectitude - formal dignified demeanour assumed by a proctologist immediately before he
examines you

Oyster - a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish expressions

Circumvent - the opening in the front of boxer shorts

Frisbitarianism - the belief that when you die your soul goes on the roof and gets stuck there.

Giraffiti - Vandalism spray painted up high

Dopeler effect - the tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

Ignoranus - a person who is both stupid and an asshole.