Southern Grandma

Lawyers should never ask a Southern Grandma a question

if they aren't prepared for the answer.

In a trial, a Southern Small-Town Prosecuting Attorney

called his first witness.

A Grandmotherly, Elderly Woman to the stand.

He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"



She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams.

I've known you since you were a young boy, and frankly,

you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on

your Wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them

behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't

the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more

than a two-bit paper pusher.

Yes, I know you."



The Lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do,

he pointed across the room and asked,

"Mrs. Jones, do you know the Defense Attorney?"

She again replied, "Why, yes, I do I've known Mr. Bradley

since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he

has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship

with anyone and his law practice is one of the worst in the

entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his Wife

with three different Women.

One of them was your Wife.

Yes, I know him."



The Defense Attorney almost died.

The Judge asked both Counselors to approach the bench and,

in a very quiet voice, said,

"If either of you Idiots asks her if she knows Me,

I'll send you BOTH to the Electric Chair."