Wednesday, May 17, 2006

the 10 rules that should be drilled in to teenagers heads

1. This is not a free country. Free implies that you have the right to do whatever you want, whenever you want, to whomever you want. This is a myth that has been passed down among kids forever. It ranks right up there with the myth that the police have no right to search the inside of your vehicle.



2. Pick your friends wisely. Not only can friends drag you down, but laws in this country state that if you are with a friend when they commit a crime, and you do not try to stop them, then you are just as guilty as they are. Telling the judge that you told him not to do it, will only make him laugh when we all know you we're telling him to "do it man, do it", and laughing your a off the whole time.



3. When you hop in a car with someone else, put your seatbelt on and keep your mouth shut unless you see something important. It's bad enough that you trusted your life to someone else, but now you are assuming that they can chew gum and drive at the same time. Do not even think about running from the police in a car. There is no way that you can outrun a radio. No matter where you go they will be waiting to give you the Rodney King welcome you deserve.





4. Contrary to your belief, you are not smarter than everyone else. People can figure out when you are lying, and if you slide by the first time, that just means they don't know you yet. They will though. Someday you will make the mistake of using them as a character reference for the opportunity of a lifetime.



5. If a friend ask to borrow some money, don't lend them anymore than you can afford to give them. You won't ever see that money again, but your friend will probably let you watch the big game on his new tv set that suddenly appeared.



6. If they are a true friend, then they will still be your friend after you say no. This especially applies to girls. People that stick around even when they aren't getting anything are the only people you can trust. Ronald Reagan said, "trust but verify". Guys, you should appreciate it when they check up on you, because the reality is that you probably couldn't get another girlfriend anyway, but at least now you think you can.



7. Drugs, alcohol, and smoking are not cool. When you wake up the next morning you will still be just as depressed about your life. The only differences will be that you will have less money, a hangover, and an unexpected car payment for the next 18 years. Eventually though, you might get free room and board for 10 to 20.



8. Yes, you can be an individual and express yourself in a variety of ways, but there is a limit to everything. If someone tells you "I wouldn't do that sh if i was you", then thats a pretty good indication that the law, and people in general are a little fed up with you expressing yourself.



9. You do not have the right to make other peoples lives miserable with your noise. Not everyone, including animals, have your same taste in music. It's quite obvious to me, that us oldtimers are going to have the last laugh when we walk into Burger King, and you have to hold your hand up to your ear to hear us. While I'm predicting the future, you better hope they come up with a cure for brain cancer too or those long cell phone conversations with your friends will be the last good memories you ever have.



10. This is the most important rule of all. In a democracy, there is no way to make everyone happy. The vast majority must rule. If you are not in the majority or don't believe in the American way of life, then the door is always open to leave. In fact, i'm pretty sure that our country will eventually give you a free ticket home. If you try to push 80 of the population around with political correctness and lawsuits, then be prepared to get squashed when we fall on top of you. When we pick ourselves up, we'll be able to fly you like a frizbee to the country of your choice.

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