the art of being dead, by my sister

1. ensure sufficient space to lie down

2. ensure that the space is in a forsaken spot, very hard to find, but just nice for people who walk by unsuspectingly.

3. lie down on the ground

4. do not move

5. do not breathe
should you accidentally breathe and someone is watching, jerk rite up and say, "Boo." it should be sufficient to make em faint. once they have done so, get the hell out of there and find another secluded spot to 'die' on.

6. ensure there is some trace of :

a) blood
b) struggle
c) murder weapon

7. ensure that when lying down, body is in a strange position

8. ensure that there is some fatal wound or sign of death on body such as
a) deep gash
b) missing limbs
c) trace of poison in blood stream
d) blue hands, feet and finger nails
e) purple face
f) headless

9. when identified and taken for testing, do not move. this is critical for an oscar worthy performance.

10. lastly, when either in coffin or furnace, it is the best time to suddenly stand up and start yelling and running around before you really get killed.

if step number 10 doesnt succeed, we wish you a pleasant stay in heaven.. or hell.. which ever one you end up in... *evil grinz*

brought to you proudly by arisia and adosia